autistic

Sorry to type in English but this is the language I feel comfortable with. I am 15 years old, from Tunisia, and I have several problems with my society. My parent (I would rather not tell) refuses to take me for a psychological check. I seek answers for my psychological health. I think I have autism. In fact, I have an excessive fear of others, even my schoolmates. I can not trust people at all, except my parents and some of my relatives. I feel comfortable with my family. Routines and plans mean a lot to me; I put plans to every second in my life. If this plan gets bothered, I feel bad. I often have meltdowns at school, in the classroom, and if I manage to control it, I delay it until I return home. I am interested in collecting Robots and toys. I am obsessed with programming and creating websites. My only friends since my childhood have been robots and mechanical toys. I collect them a lot and spend pretty much money on them. They have even special towels, lives, stories, shampoo... I sleep with them too always. My classmates tell I am too old for that but I cry when they say so. I arrange items in a very special order that often does not make sense to others, but it makes me comfortable. I write books and make music. I only listen to Mozart, Beethoven, Demis Roussos and rarely 80s songs. I concentrate on the instrumental part and get so bothered when I attend parties. I cry when I listen to loud music and immediately have a meltdown. I don't look at others in their eyes. I don't talk at all outside the home. I have no friends because I could not strike any. I get dressed with very old style. I am so sensitive to feedbacks. I was not understood or respected by my peers, but I have a good friendship with my teachers. I have been so different since I was 5 years old. I can not lie, I tell the truth even if it is bad. I often repeat the same thing over and over, until I notice that it was repeated up to 17 times. I am still attached to topics for years. I often prefer to stay alone. The only friends I have are my family, my toys and my computer. I feel happy, sad, mad, anything but it does not show up on my face. I have memories from when I was less than 1year old, very detailed with sounds. I concentrate on the details instead of global things. I collect plants a lot and water them. When they get torn I cry. Even when I talk, I don't know how to express myself; I invent new words, I do the impossible but I don't manage to draw a clear image in the listener's mind. I do not understand what others' plans are, even to guess what the writer of text means from his phrases. I find it easy to imagine a story and create a portrait. I always do things spontaneously and think in a different way. I can not imagine myself being someone else, rather than computer Scientist. Working in groups tires me and keeps me psychologically bothered.
These are my symptoms. Please do I have Autism?
Doctor
  Psychologist
good morning
its not that easy to say if you have autism or not
but tell me before that how old are you ?!
How satisfied are you with this answer?


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